for Robb

[tooktheblack]

It was the eve before a big holiday in the world of the island and while Jon understood it some from Kurt and Lionel's explanations, it still was foreign to celebrate winter in Westeros and as nice as this Christmas seemed, Jon was a little bit wary of it all. He wanted to know that the warm weather would come back because they'd not had time to prepare stores for a long winter as they knew them in Westeros and it was...it was just foreign.

One thing that was nice, though, was the idea of making presents for Reynald and he'd gotten some wood and started whittling it with one of his knives. Blocks, maybe, would be a good toy for a boy of his age but that simple idea had turned into carving the sigils of the major houses of Westeros instead.

He'd done a wolf already and set it down nearby while he carved a three-headed dragon. He wouldn't be able to paint them, no, but hopefully Reynald would enjoy them as is.

Comments

[theyoungwolf]

"We can't ever know," Robb says. "And you were needed--you did more, defending the North from the things beyond the Wall, than any of the rest of us did, whatever we tried."

[tooktheblack]

"We wouldn't have survived without Stannis," Jon said, thinking it over. "And yet I feel like that was one of the worst decisions I ever made, inviting him to stay at the Wall and man our castles. We should never have allowed a king of any sort to influence our decisions. I thought I was doing good. Good intentions sometimes aren't enough, are they?"

[theyoungwolf]

"No," Robb says, shaking his head; for a moment his gaze drops to his lap before he looks up at Jon again. "Else our father would not have ended as he did. But we all do the best we can with the choices given us, Jon. And those choices are often nothing but ill."

[tooktheblack]

"The choices seem better on the island," Jon said, watching Robb carefully. "I haven't been faced with anything life or death and while I have encountered things that challenge my perceptions, I think I've come out better for those decisions."

[theyoungwolf]

"I won't say that life or death choices don't come up," Robb says slowly. "But they are far fewer and further between than they ever were in Westeros. And we can be much more sure of our allies."

[tooktheblack]

"I have made good friends here," Jon agreed. "And some...more than friends."

Jon was slightly nervous about admitting that, even if it was only to Robb. Clearly as Edmund was still part of the family, it wouldn't be looked down on but it was still strange to admit.

[theyoungwolf]

Robb has known Jon for his entire life, and knows him well enough by now to recognise a leading statement when he hears it. "Oh?" he asks, with a twist of a smile. "More than friends, already? Who?"

[tooktheblack]

"Lionel," Jon said, wondering how that would go over. Taking a man as a lover wasn't something that was done publicly in Westeros and while Jon had felt no need to hide it on the island, it felt strange to tell his brother about it.

"He isn't from a world like Westeros, though. He's very different from us."

[theyoungwolf]

Robb's forehead furrows, but in thought rather than disapproval. "I know the face," he says, because he's been here long enough by now to recognise nearly everyone else who has, "but I don't think we've ever talked."

[tooktheblack]

"I care for him," Jon said, which he felt was important to say at the first. It was different, admitting that, and it didn't feel like such a breach of his oaths as it might with a woman. Jon wasn't entirely sure what the difference was.

"It started as just a friendship that I thought would simply include those things but I have honestly started to care for him. Strange, isn't it?"

[theyoungwolf]

"I should think so," Robb says, almost gently. "You've never been the sort to take any relationship casually, Jon."

[tooktheblack]

"Never," Jon agreed. "Even when I probably should have been more casual about it to protect myself. When you go to the Wall, they tell you that you have no family, no house. I could never fully believe that even when I was supposed to."

[theyoungwolf]

"Blood is stronger than words," Robb says with a shrug. "Even when it's ice-cold Stark blood."

[tooktheblack]

"Perhaps even more so. The North remembers," Jon said, echoing an old sentiment. "We remember things long after other men would forget them and I suppose family bonds count in with that."

[theyoungwolf]

"And yet," Robb says, the lightness only slightly forced, "this is heavy talk for what should not be a heavy occasion." He sighs. "I admit it is a bit strange, thinking of you with someone new, but it's just another thing to get used to. And if you're happy, Jon...."

[tooktheblack]

"I apologize for being heavy on a happy occasion," Jon said, sincere. "I never wanted to...I just didn't want to keep it from you any longer. I'm not sure how to do this, be with someone. It wasn't ever in the cards for me in Westeros."

[theyoungwolf]

"The gods know," Robb says, "I'd prefer we not have secrets from each other." There are some things, he supposes, which it would just be too awkward for Jon to know, and useless as well. When everyone who knew a story is gone, what happens to it? He hasn't ever quite made sense of it.

"And I think it was for a while, in Westeros," he adds, still oddly gentle. "Ygritte was here as well, for a time."

[tooktheblack]

"She was? While I was married to Edmund's sister?"

Jon couldn't imagine how awkward that must have been, a new love and his first love in the same place. Ygritte was part of something he'd left behind at the Wall and outside of that situation, Jon couldn't imagine anyone understanding the relationship or her.

He feared Lionel might be the same, in a way, but tamped that fear down in face of hearing what Robb had to say on the subject. Time for that later.

[theyoungwolf]

"And before it," Robb confirms, resting a hand against Jon's shoulder as he reads a very reasonable worry in that face. "Don't worry, she and Susan were friends. Or perhaps that's the reason to worry, I suppose. She would not have been tied down, in any case, to you or anyone."

[tooktheblack]

"Ygritte was wild in every sense of the word," Jon said fondly, remembering. "There was no containing her. Not even this island could contain her, I don't think."

[theyoungwolf]

"I didn't know her, at least not well, so there is little I can tell you of her time here." Robb isn't sure whether or not Jon wants to know anyway, but he's being as honest as he can. "I fear I reminded her of a good number of unpleasant things. I do that, apparently," he adds, dryly and the smallest bit bitter.

[tooktheblack]

"You are the king in the North and the Wildlings have been hell-bent against the Wall and the Starks of Winterfell since history began," Jon agreed. "You're almost as bad if not worse than a crow. I can't imagine her reacting any other way."

[theyoungwolf]

"Nor can I," Robb says simply. He had not expected any differently from Jon's wildling lover, and is well aware that everyone from their world has their own demons. "Truly, it seemed for a while as if all the halls of Westeros were losing people on our island."

[tooktheblack]

"I'm sorry I missed that. I would have liked to see our lord father again." Perhaps he wasn't Jon's father in blood but in practice, Eddard Stark would always be Jon's father. He didn't particularly think about Rhaegar Targaryen as much more than a myth that died long ago and there was no attachment there. He didn't expect there ever would be.

[theyoungwolf]

All of which suits Robb just fine. He'll never stop calling Jon his brother, regardless of what the real blood ties are between them. "Not so much my lady mother, I think," he says dryly. He wishes it were otherwise, but he has long since come to terms with the lack of love between them. "But compared to the collection of Lannisters that have on occasion appeared here, you might even have found her welcome."